Another Blog about me self pitying myself

hey hey. are u guys tired of me yet? the same story over and over. my parents hating me and then me (the poor poor teen girl who just pities herself all day) complaining about it online to (PROBABLY) 65 year olds who live with their parents. anyways new blog, new dysfunctional family story. my room looks like a mess as i mentioned before, so my mom took the "reasonable" approach and threw all of my clothes away!! she didnt even care if it was work clothes, or my fancy lace dresses i saved up for, she THREW IT ALL AWAY. by that i mean she dumped it all into the halfway full trashcans outside. guess whos going dumpster diving for an outfit for school tmw!! i'm so tired of all of this. my room isnt messy because i'm lazy - well actually yeah i am lazy. thats why my rooms dirty. i have no motivation to clean it, no motivation to sleep, eat. but you know i just stopped caring. i dont care if you throw my clothes away. i dont care if u scream at me or go crazy. i dont care if you punish me. i dont care i dont care i dont care. i feel like i've hit rock bottom but i say that everytime i feel like this lol. ive stopped caring about and for myself. i've already accepted it, i dont REALLY care i know eventually i'll be 20 living in my dream apartment with a little cute cat and i'll be looking back and cringing at myself and the stupid decisions i made. right now i just have to lay in bed for a couple more years and THEN i can move to new york.my hair is falling out, viens poking through my skin, my eyes are becoming cold. so thats fun. this is probably a side effect of not eating or something. my mom made a comment on how my face looked like a skeleton, the sunken in black eye bags. sickly. nothing an extra drop of concealer cant fix though! its so "romantic" until you're living it. ugh god i'm so edgy but its in an IRONIC way .... totally! so that makes it okay and satire. its like im living in my own world - constantly zoning out pretending to be someone else. like one of those girls who go grocery shopping with their parents and help pick out dinner, or try out new recipes for their traditional banana bread. i can pretend to be one of them for just a couple seconds before my head fills with jealousy.i ordered this $25 dollar 2008 silver colored camera from ebay. i hope it works. it's going to be sooo cute when it comes in the mail!! it said it'll take roughly 4-6 weeks :( my days blur together though so it shouldn't be too long before i get it. i'm thankful to my two real friends who do stupid stuff with me, halie and dani. thanks u guys ilysm i dont even think u know how much i appreciate you. i'm also thankful for the little rambles teachers make about themselves. its so cute to hear about how their pet rabbits ruined a piece of furniture, or how uncomfortable their shoes are! my little rambles would probably be about feeling crumbs in my bed all night but never sweeping them off of my sheets.... later and have an amazing day! also comment on my blog so i dont feel so lonely. (its on the very bottom of the first page of this site.)