Hi. back from the dead…. yeah i’m a zombie, hotgirl23? that era is over. everybody welcome …… zombiegirl23! no jay kay u thought. my hot girl era will NEVER end. i will never stop being a hot girl twenty three. where do i even start… my mom smashed my phone to pieces, refused to be driven to work even though i’m working 6 days a week, bleached my hair like three times and dyed it twice in one day (a lot of it fell out LOL! so now i have unintentional layered short hair) and it looks terrifying, having a borderline stalker, morphing back to my city girl roots, and oh my god so much more… i’m #DONE hibernating in my room. i’m done rotting in my own bed. what have i been doing these past months? well i first go to school, then i go to work, then i pass out. when i don’t have school i go to work, and then pass out. when i dont have school or work, i get home and i pass out. occasionally (like once every two weeks) a large unlucky problem that was probably caused by my own actions will occur, and i will milk that problem out and cry about it for two weeks so i have a reason why i’m passed out laying in bed all day. unless a new problem or huge occurrence happens, well then thats my new excuse for repeating the cycle of pitying myself in bed when im home. i get tired of repeating the same mundane brain-numbing cycle so i have this urge to do something “wild.” like running around downtown in the city at night alone, or going to that party i definitely should not be going to. i would mention other things, but that would be incriminating. and if anyone from school knew the things i do… say it with me - BLACK. MAIL. just know that whatever you just thought of, i probably did twice over to convince myself that my life isnt boring and it really is just in my head. ***********EDIT- O.M.G. I JUST REREAD THAT AND REALIZED IT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE A PROSTITUTE OR SOMETHING. i am NOT a prostitute. ive never had sex, or even a boyfriend for that matter.*************** work is so tiring that its training my brain to always be exhausted. even if i had a day without work, 8 hours of sleep, AND two cups of coffee i would still be tired. my mind and body is tired 6 other days of the week so why would i not be tired on my one day off? it’s not like i’m doing anything remotely different, instead i’m just drinking coffee and making breakfast instead of packaging food for work. i’m still using my body and brain to do simple tasks… and that on its own is tiring. i’m constantly spacing out and i feel like i’m losing myself. whenever i try to tell someone its always “work is work, no one likes doing it”. but they don’t understand that im not just doing work, im participating in school, studying and doing homework, balancing my friends and the guys i’m talking to, dealing with my parents that hate me, begging all kinds of people to give me ride for work, AND squeezing in time to serve people at a fast food chain restaurant for 8 hours straight. all of this just to be making $7.25 an hour. that is less than a sandwich with some small fries from the place i work at. one hour worth of this debilitating work is worth a plain sandwich and half a package of small fries. oh yeah my mom threw my phone off the balcony because i forgot to walk the dog. and my dad is angry and trying to find creative ways to punish me, as usual. he won’t even drive me to work. i have to beg friends to drive me … how humiliating..! sorry if i go missing again. i’m probably working, sleeping in biology class, passed out on the floor in my room, or dead. jokingggggggggg